..the mutinies within..

I am a Hindu by birth. I am a theist, a polytheist to be precise. I do believe in God and his/her endeavors, the supernatural beings and events,multiple lifetimes and life after death, the soul and its quests.To an extent I believe in morality that religious doctrines prescribe and detest immorality that they proscribe.Lately I have questioned my belief, a couple of times. Do I believe in God for the love of him and reverence for all the things wonderful created by him,or do I believe in him for the fear of his wrath? I dont know! It required a lot of confrontation. I dont even know what necessitated the answer to it or whether such an answer is relevant or whether should I be asking these questions at this age of mine,now or ever at all, or whether I should reserve them for some "middle-age" crisis and then rediscover my faith, belief and allegiance to God at that time, as many people do. I don't even know where do the scientific theories and technological endeavors of my kind, which I have espoused as the pathways to find the 'meaning in it all' and to create a better world, converge with and corroborate my belief in God.Don't know whether they should even do that or not.

Querying is just so hard to do and subjecting the beliefs and perceptions which you were born and brought up with,to the questions which shake their very existence is even more difficult and excruciating. Its inconceivable to find the permanence and eternity of those principles in tatters.And it takes a man of real substance to go through this whole process inspite of the internal pain it inflicts and reinvent himself as a whole new self, made of choice of will in entirety, whether a follower or not!

Why I was compelled to think and write all this was because of a gentleman called Mr Bhagat Singh whom I met once again through his essay: "Why am I an atheist".This is an essay written by him when he was in jail, going to be hanged soon by the British.This essay was his masterpiece in literary terms, but far more than that, it was the testimony to his Genius who at the age of 23, had far more profoundness of thought, clarity of purpose and self awareness than far more aged and experienced people could have.He seems to be defending his belief, or rather non-belief, but he does not.The stubborn he was, he never needed to do that. Instead, I think, he would have written this in the penultimate days of his death, in a manner of thinking aloud, to remind himself of the ideals he stood for and was going to die for.The best way to read this essay is not to read it from the point of view of right and wrong or attaching any sense of personalness to it.Rather, as this essay gives yet another rare insight into the utmost endowment to human being, rationality and logic, one has an opportunity to meet a unique human being whose exemplary life and death lead to many a mutinies within and then without millions of people.

Aamir Khan said that he might make up to look 23 to play the role of Bhagat Singh, but he would never be able to do justice to the depth of the character.And that came from one of the finest actors in the country! Perhaps no one will.

Here is the link to the essay

Salutes!